Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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