she looked like the bat from fern gully.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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