gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
