Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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