I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Randomize
