I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I need to wash the frat house off of me
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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