At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Randomize
