if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
