I think im going to throw up on grandma
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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