someone threw a dead crab at me
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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