She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Randomize
