If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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