i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
