Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
