I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
