break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
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