This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
you inspire me to be a worse person
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
