You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
