I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
