a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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