dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
My liver is preforming stress tests.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
