great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
