looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
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