Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
