For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
