Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
