I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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