It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
