Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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