ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
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