If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
I see more hoeing in ur future
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