I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
