After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
We don't watch enough power rangers
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
