My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
