No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
whose parrot is this?
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
