i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
