Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
