Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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