was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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