I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
