it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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