never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Randomize
