Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
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