so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
