Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Randomize
