She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
