You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Randomize
