This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Randomize
