I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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