if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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