Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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