WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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