Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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