i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
