Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Randomize
