He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Randomize
