Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
