at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
