Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
