Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Randomize