I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
