just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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