Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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