I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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