You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
