there were more penises there than on chat roulette
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
